Why are we so unkind?
Why are we so hard on each other?
Why are we not boosting each other up?
Why are we so JUDGEMENTAL of the way parents choose to raise their children?
This week I have had 2 incidents of people who want to make changes to their parenting but feel they will be judged by others.
The first was at our Guiding Children’s Behaviour workshop at a childcare centre here in Sydney with a parent who was worried about being judged in public if she followed our recommendations to “Ignore her child if they are having a tantrum in public, as you would in the privacy of your own home.” She said, “I can’t do that people will judge me and call me a bad mother!”
The second incident happened when I was listening a to a ABC podcast called Ladies we need to talk with Yumi Stynes, about mothers who chose and are very happy to share custody or grant full custody of their children to their ex-husbands/partners and the JUDGEMENT they received on a regular basis from work colleagues, friends, family and random people in their community for allowing their ex partners to raise their children.
Some of the reasons being that they wanted their children to stay in the family home and in their own beds and not disrupt their schooling and another moved from the country to the city and it made more sense to her to leave her very settled and happy children in the country where they had always lived.
One mum mentioned that her ex-partner had a better support network than she did with his family willing and able to assist in child minding and helping to raise the children.
Yumi on the other hand had had her kids for years as a solo parent and her girls wanted to see what it was like to live with Dad.
As modern parents we really need to start supporting each other and praising each other for the job we are doing and offer High Fives and encouragement. We should be validating each other for our choices.
Parenting is a tough gig and children do not come with an easy to read manual and most of the time we are just trying to get through the day, week, or month.
Everyone is sleep deprived and having their own battles…..
Let’s move forward and complement and encourage each other and build up every parents confidence with this modern parenting gig!